Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Bite My Shiny Metal Ass, Eldrad.

I lose to Eldar a lot. I'm kind of OK with that at this point in my Warhammer 40k experiences. I've just had to accept it like you accept a homosexual child, or perhaps in the same way if you would accept a certain level of lead in the paint chips you eat when you're feeling lonely.

Consider this, Eldar are the slimiest assholes in the galaxy, bar none. On the tabletop they can reroll practically anything, almost never miss, almost never miss an armor save, and otherwise are infinitely abuse-able due to the high number of re-rolls allowed.

At times their not exactly fun to play against because they're very easy to make mistakes against. That said, every once in a while you find a good game against these clown-colored homo-erotic circus-performers.

Pictured above is a necron lord with a staff of light , veil of darkness, and a res orb. While the necron army in this game did not win (so I wont have a battle-report for it, because there's nothing positive to say about the outcome of this game for the necron side), this lord managed to immobilize and assault this Eldar craft in a way that blocked the only exit point and made it impossible for Eldrad and his group of homo-hags to disembark, for FOUR turns. 3 total WBB rolls were made for the lord, each time bringing him back up in front of the only exit.
Eventually, and much to my dismay, my lord finally failed a WBB. Eldrad made his goofy-clownsuit way out of the tank in the 6th goddamn turn, and so he went forth to dismantle my various robots in a manner most unpleasant.

My downfall was being unprepared for the Eldar orgy before me, being slightly too aggressive on my turn one, and losing 780 points worth of models on his turn 1, which I spent the rest of the game trying desperately to recover from. It didn't work.

At some point I'll try to create a tactica posting about the ways in which are best for necrons to fight eldar, but it will take a considerable amount more practice.

Until that time, Eldrad can suffer damage to his anus in whatever way would seem most painful to him.

I imagine it involves a power-fist.

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