Monday, May 2, 2011

A Rainforest Of Rampaging Homosexuality

Click Here To See The Most Recent Rumor Roundup On A Possible Imminent Necron Release

I've read through the list, and I'm pretty sure the entire goddamn thing is a bunch of shit.
I don't honestly believe for a second that they will take the time to support this army. Why now? Why when MAREENZ are selling so fucking good? Not to say Necrons don't have a support system of followers, but I think it's safe to say that Games-Workshop is a conservative, non-ideological corporation that is lazy in most of its efforts to do anything. I think of them as dog trainer's with buyer's remorse; they got into the business for the fame, fun, and money, but now they're stuck in a situation where they keep begrudgingly working, but would much rather take the whole fucking lot out back and shoot it with a shotgun. Unless Mat Ward was running around blowing everyone begging for a chance to ruin my army just like he did Grey Knights I don't see there being any motivation to work harder.

So maybe I should be optimistic and consider that I may get a new codex, and even more suprisingly, it will be in the next year. Well, I've been through that series of expectations before, and like taking a fat chick home from the bar, It seemed so exciting at first, and then when it was all over my dick smelled like spoiled milk and olive oil, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out where the fuck I actually ended up cumming on or in her (seriously to this day I think it was the meat underneath her asscheek, and I can only assume it's still there 5 years later growing either an insidious amount of mold, or an army of pancake-flat babies).

Immortals becoming terminators doesn't fucking surprise me in the least. They found a fucking way to charge the exact same fucking 12 dollars a model, and this time I'm not even going to get precious pewter that I can later melt down and pour into my eye-sockets, YAY! Color me happy.

Losing the C'tan isn't at all suprising. I'm thinking resin models with statlines on par with angroth or something would be nice, I wouldn't put it past them to do that. Named lords like the Harbingers and Heralds of Necron nodal command importance will be a nice addition, but if it's true that one of them is going to make Immortals available as a troop choice, then old dickblowing Mr. Ward must be the writer of the codex, because he's confident with every new release that he can escape scrutiny for his complete inability to write or properly structure the game by making something so cheesy it's distracting.

On top of everything that could be, I am ultimately attracted to the idea of a new release for necrons. Having something new to play with will be nice, having something different to paint could be fun, and hey, this gives me a wonderful opportunity to be a shitfucking faggot and for every person would dare play Necrons, I can shit wildly all over their faces claiming they are “copying me” just like homofag MAREENZ players have been doing for a buttfucking decade. I may just be part of the elitist-fag club soon!

I hope I get a fucking jacket.

1 comment:

  1. So are there dicks everywhere in the rainforest of rampaging homosexuality.

    I think the new codex will be decent, but if matt "I love dicks in my mouth" ward wrote it you may have to set GW on fire.